A fish out of water

Well, this is fun. Mallory thought, depressingly leaning against a wall of the famous and disgustingly crowded Pandemonium. Of all the bad ideas she had had recently, this was by far the worst. Distract yourself, they said. You'll have fun, they said! Yeah, right. Mallory almost jumped out of her skin when a very stumbling, very drunk guy almost crushed into her with his hands full of... wait, was that toilet paper? She really did not want to know. « Alright, that's enough for me. » she finally commented, voice firm and hands moving to grab the stranger by his shoulder, gently pushing him away from her body. « Oh, c'mon! Don't be such a party crusher! » joked the guy, earning himself a hard judging look. He proceeded to laugh it off, probably too confused to even realize what had been going on in the last minute or so, returning to embarrassingly dancing with his friends. Mallory deeply sighed, massaging her temples as the loud music continued to pump all the patience she had ever had out of her. « I hate this. » she spoke to herself, getting once again in the path of other giggling strangers. Jesus Christ.

« I don't need to have fun! » All of that misery had started with this simple sentence, naively spoken to her cousin: Gaspard. They had met in her apartment, specifically in that very small and quite smelly bedroom that had been her only refuge as of late. He had helped her clean up, freshen the air by opening all the windows, and had been then observing her from his seat at the small bed she had been sleeping in, while she tidied up some clothes. He had gazed at her with his brow raised, a skeptical look on his features. « Are you sure? Because all you've been doing so far is... nothing. » Mallory had scoffed, scrolling her shoulders as she worked with a pretty purple top that had once been her favorite. « That's exaggerating. I've been doing lots of things! I've been... writing! I've been, ah, listening to music. And I've talked to some people... » Gaspard had blown a raspberry towards her at that point, and she had hit him with the very same top that she had been holding. « I have! It's not my fault you're never there to see it. » she had proclaimed with her head held high and her back straightened, hoping to look as austere as she also wanted to sound. But Gaspard had always been capable of seeing right through her, and his expression of worry and affection had hit her in the face the same way she had been physically doing with him. But now I'll have to iron that top again, she had thought with her brow furrowed. « Listen... » had started to say Gaspard, hands held high in front of him as to not look threatening. He knew she would be capable of throwing her entire wardrobe at him. « - I'm not saying you should go out and meet every single people in Hogsmeade. Just... maybe treat yourself a little? Put on something fancy and go dancing, just to distract yourself. Maybe you'll be able to stop obsessing about everything that happened -» He had immediately stopped her attempt at interrupting him by raising his index finger, and had continued speaking with a giggle when he saw Mallory pouting at him. « - I know you are. I see you, 'lil cousin (« I'm older than you, you cockroach » she had been able to whisper, arms crossed on her chest), and I think some "me time" could really help you out. Besides, what do you really have to lose? » That had made her think, because really... what did she have to lose? And so she went, and what a terrible mistake that had turned out to be.

The place was so full of people, Mallory could hardly cut out some space for herself. She wondered if all of them were here for her very same reason: trying to make sense of the most senseless thing they had been experiencing. They were, after all, just kids. And what they went through would have probably been comparable to what some war veterans would have lived in some place like Afghanistan. Was she being dramatic? Probably, she didn't know. She was pressed against a wall with a ridiculously small drink in her hand, eyes burned by all the bright and colored lights that were being shot around and mood dangerously low. And it was still dropping. She had tried to find a familiar face in that crowd, in the desperate attempt at not feeling so alone, but no one had really popped out. She was quite friendly when she was still at Hogwarts and things were still normal, so why was she so incapable at recognizing anyone? She started to feel quite hopeless, and very out of place. Simplest thing would have been to just get out of there, but Gaspard's words were still ringing in her head. « Treat yourself. » He had said « Go dancing, distract yourself. » Yeah, that wasn't really working though, was it? Mallory sighed yet again, staring at the roof like she could admire the night sky above it. It would've been lovely to just lie on cold grass, stargazing and quietly thinking about... anything, really. She yearned for that peace, because anything more chaotic than that only reminded her of the hell she had survived. Stop being depressing, she tried to scold herself. At least try to make it work! Don't just stand there! Forcing herself to walk right through the crowd might have been the most brave thing she had done in a while, and in that sense she was almost proud of her effort. But wait. Did that same effort bring results? Pushed aside by some dancing couple, Mallory tried to make out the features of a nearby girl. Was she... oh, she was! Mallory rapidly approached her like she was her life preserver (and in some way, she really was), gently grabbing her right arm to call her attention. « Malia? » she spoke, forced to raise her voice because of the loud music. « Is that really you? I haven't seen you in such a long while. How have you been? » She tried to make casual conversation, and in that at least she was very good. Sure, the « how are you, after suffering that much and getting through trauma? » question was kind of impossible to answer sincerely, but still. She had tried! She thought she could still get some credit for that. « Are you with anyone? Would you mind if we...? » she pointed to the quietest corner of the room, where they could at least properly chat without screaming like hyenas. She hoped the other girl would agree, because otherwise? I'd be probably fucked.